508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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