sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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