respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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