her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
