My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
