Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
