Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
