i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
