hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
