In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
