You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize