im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
