hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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