your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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