you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You smell like stripper and shame
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
