Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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