The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize