Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
