I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize