Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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