i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize