I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
