her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
