i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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