K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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