4 words: hood of his car
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I lost the right to judge tonight
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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