Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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