I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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