I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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