I would go down on you faster than GM stock
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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