3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
