this beer tastes like vomit already
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
