I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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