I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
