Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
