Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
