You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize