I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize