So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
