this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
