that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
