I hate your face
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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