I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
