She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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