there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
