I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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