Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize