Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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