Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
