one two three fourrrrnication!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
no, he came in my armpit
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
