McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
