i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
where am i from again
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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