Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
