That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
