So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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