More tranny stories later!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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