She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
