I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
