very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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