So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize