So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am one with the molecules
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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