1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
